Big Feelings
What to say when your child hits
When a child hits, the moment needs both warmth and a hard stop. You can validate the feeling without allowing the behavior.
Why this moment is hard
Parents often feel pressure to say exactly the right thing while also keeping everyone safe. The first goal is safety; the teaching can come once bodies are calmer.
What to say first
“I will not let you hit. I am moving your body back to keep everyone safe.”
When they push back
“You can be mad. I will not let you hit.”
“You wanted the toy. Hitting is not how we solve it.”
“I hear no. My job is to keep bodies safe.”
What to avoid getting pulled into
Avoid asking “Why did you do that?” in the hottest part of the moment. Most kids cannot explain well while flooded.
Practice the back-and-forth
- Block or create space calmly.
- Name the limit in few words.
- Return to repair once everyone is safer.