Sibling Conflict
What to say when siblings fight over a toy
When siblings fight over a toy, it can escalate fast: grabbing, yelling, crying, and competing stories about who had it first.
Why this moment is hard
The hard part is not only solving the toy problem. It is staying steady while both kids feel wronged and want you to pick a side.
What to say first
“I will not let you grab from each other. I am going to hold the toy while we figure this out.”
When they push back
“You both want it. I am going to help, but I will not let grabbing decide.”
“You feel like it is unfair. We are still going to use calm bodies.”
“I hear you. The toy is paused until everyone is safe.”
What to avoid getting pulled into
Avoid becoming the judge of every detail too quickly. First stabilize the moment, then problem-solve.
Practice the back-and-forth
- Stop unsafe grabbing.
- Reflect both children’s wants.
- Pause the object before deciding what happens next.